It isn't what you get, it is what you become.

This year I was able to attend my home church, Hosanna!, to celebrate Christmas Eve. For the first time ever, they had a live nativity scene. It was simply amazing. The front altar was covered with hay, and roaming about were 2 camels, a donkey, goat, lamb, calf and geese. Throughout the service, the lamb “baa’ed” and made his voice heard. The dust from the hay emcompassed the congregation, my daughter’s eyes began to water, and we both began to sneeze. The Christmas carols sounded sweet as I’ve ever heard, and a part of me felt like I was really there. It was one of those moments where I looked over at my husband and thought to myself, wow. We are so blessed. Sitting between us were our 2 beautiful children. We were among the animals celebrating Jesus’ birth.

Part of our pastor’s message was this. So much of Christmas has become “what did you get for Christmas?” He said something simple, but something that I’d like to remember. “It isn’t what you get, it is what you become.” I like that. A good overall life lesson. It isn’t what you have, what kind of car you drive, how many toys you own, or how nice your house is- in other words: what you get. It is who you are, and who you become. Approaching every new year, I try and take a good hard look at myself. Who would I like to become, and what am I going to do to get there?

I go back to the fruits of the spirit- love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness and self control. I can’t think of a better character checklist than that. Now, where do I begin?

1st Class Connection

On Sunday I got to the airport to catch an evening flight to Ft. Myers, FL.  To my surprise when I checked in, thanks to upgrades, I was seated in 1st Class!  I LOVE it when that happens.  So here were my thoughts......it’s been a LONG week, I haven’t been feeling well AT ALL and I can’t wait to board the airplane, get a pillow and a blanket and sleep for about 3 hours - YES, I need sleep!!

Little did I know that God had other plans for me.  As I got settled into my seat I casually started talking to the guy sitting next to me.  Small talk, “How’s it going?”, “So thankful for the upgrade.”, “Are you from Florida, or just visiting?” Our small talked turned into a 3 hour conversation and NO sleep, but it was worth it!

After about 45 minutes of talking I finally learned that the guy I was talking to had a name, it was Tom.    We shook hands after we formally introduced ourselves to each other and continued talking.  As we talked I learned that Tom was in the financial services industry.  He was heading to Florida looking to potentially purchase another company to grow his company.

I also learned that he was in the process of writing a book.  Boy did I have LOTS of questions about his book project.  I too have a dream of writing a book someday.  His message as he described it to me that he’s writing about in his book was similar to my vision with Keeping it Personal, except with a business angel, how cool is that!!  I was so intrigued by what he was saying and the wisdom that he had with his many years of experience, I can’t WAIT to pick up his book when he’s finished.

Another topic that we covered during the flight was simplifying and living a life of balance; both seem to be so difficult to accomplish at times with everything going on in this world.  One thing that I learned from him and REALLY liked and will incorporate into my life is this.  He said that many times each day he asks himself this......

ADD --- KEEP --- GET RID OF

Ok, so how does that work?, I asked.  First he explained, you have to determine what’s important to you and what is it that you need and desire to KEEP.  THEN as life happens and we are faced to ADD things into our world, whether it’s a material possession or something that will take a time commitment or something in business to expand or grow - how will that effect your KEEP?  As we determine how our KEEP is effected, what, if anything do we need to GET RID OF in order to ADD?

I know it’s a little complicated so let me give you an example on how I relate this to my life.  My husband and I have made a decision that 2010 is our year to simplify - we aren’t going to TRY to do this we ARE doing this and ARE making changes as we do our year end planning and 2010 planning.  

As we make our KEEP list we’ve determined that there are many things that we currently have that we are going to sell or eliminate in our lives in order to have more time and resources.......so our list of GET RID OF is growing and we will work towards that goal in the coming months.  The ADD hits us daily.  We are constantly being approached by others to invest in new “ventures” which take resources that we want to KEEP, so we will have to pay very close attention to this and be sure to go through this exercise - sometimes we can get caught up with a “great opportunity” act too fast and before we know it get completely out of balance because it’s effecting our KEEP and we don’t want to GET RID OF what we wanted to KEEP so as we look back we probably should not have ADDED in the first place.

I am grateful for the connection I made on Sunday and for what I learned from Tom, he inspired me in many ways.  I truly believe it will be life changing.......it's a simple way for me to look at the way I do life.

I wanted to post this on Christmas as I know that for many this is the time of year that we ADD to our lives with Christmas gifts from others.  As you wrap up 2009 and bring on 2010, consider Tom’s statement.  ADD --- KEEP --- GET RID OF.  Is there imbalance in your world?  What can you do to simplify or what adjustments do you feel need to be made?

Wishing you Peace and Joy and a Merry Christmas!

Declined

My morning routine, when it’s my turn to take the boys to school, is to go through the drive-thru at Starbucks and grab a coffee before I “hit the highway”.  So, last Thursday I did just that.  Placed my order, pulled up to the window looked in my wallet – had absolutely NO cash, thanks to the boys who tap me out continuously at the hockey rink getting snacks at the concession stand, UGH!  Anyway, so I decided to grab my credit card.  Thinking to me, this is embarrassing that I’m going to charge a $2.00 coffee, I decided to purchase a gift certificate for $20.00.  Yeah, that’s perfect; I can use that gift card later – tomorrow!  So, I gave the card to my friendly Starbucks barista and the card was DECLINED!

Declined?  I said to the Starbucks barista, that’s odd, I JUST paid this down to zero a few days ago.  Luckily I had another card to use, so I gave it to him – it went through, woohoo!  BUT, what’s the deal with the declined card?  This is not a good thing.  This is our main credit card, the one that earns us points that we use for EVERYTHING.  Every month, we charge it up with gas, groceries, business expenses, haircuts, travel, etc. and every month when the statement comes we pay it off.  I immediately got on the phone to FIX the problem since clearly there was a misunderstanding, right?

Initially I talked to customer service – they had to transfer me to another department who could look into this further and after about 30 minutes on the phone, with the boys still in the car on our way to school (traffic was horrible that morning, long commute!), the “credit analyst” informed me that the reason my card was declined was because my credit limit was $900.00 and I had pending charges OVER that limit.  WHAT??  $900.00?  MY limit is $25,000.00 NOT $900.00 – you must be mistaking!!  NOPE they weren’t; You see, Bank of America decided to do a random review of my account and because it had been 5 years since I received the card and they didn’t have my current financial information I apparently didn’t fit into their current guidelines based on the other credit that was extended to me which shows on my credit report.  SO – they adjusted my limit to $900.00.

After taking a deep breath I said very politely, “What can I do to get this back up to where it belongs?  What can I provide to you to fix this NOW?  My husband is traveling on a short business trip with this credit card and he NEEDS access to the funds.”  The credit analyst said, “Ma’am we need to take a new credit application over the phone and it could take up to 48 hours to get this approved.”   REALLY?  Are you kidding me?  You took this away from me without ANY notice, I’ve been super nice and patient through this whole phone call, I’ve NEVER had a late payment with you, and over the last 5 years our relationship has been GREAT, I pay you every month.  I’m sorry, that’s NOT going to work for me.  I need this NOW!  Oh and by the way, I have to hang up now and call my husband to let him know this so he doesn’t look like a fool taking clients out to lunch today with a credit card that will be declined – UGH!!!  I was NOT a happy camper!!!

Ok, so the next call was to my husband.  He could tell I was very upset.  I gave him the run down and I’m sure I over dramatized everything, but I filled him in.  Here’s what he said in a very calming unbothered voice, “Honey, its ok.  It’s not our money.”  I was like, yeah BUT………look at this!  What an inconvenience, we don’t deserve this, we are a great customer, blah, blah, blah, blah.  He listened to me go on for a little bit and said calmly again, “Honey, its ok.  It’s not ours.  We will figure it out.  We don’t need it.  It’s ok.”  He’s so level headed AND has other GREAT qualities, of course, I just LOVE him!!

After shedding a few tears, getting my boys dropped off at school, finally!!  I had a chance to reflect.  It’s now about a week later and I’m still thinking about it……….I learned a HUGE lesson from this.  It’s NOT ours!  None if it!  Everything we have is a blessing on loan to us by God.  Where in the world did I get the sense of entitlement?  I DESERVE to have that credit limit, I earned it?  SICK can I PUKE?!?!  Who do I think I am?

This is not only about material things.  It’s about what has been so freely given can be gone in an instant; our children, health, opportunities, family, friends, shelter, food, everything!

Romans 11:36 says “All things come from him.  All things are directed by him.  All things are for his good. May God be given the glory forever! Amen.”

He is the source of ALL things, I am nothing without Him.  I pray that God will continue to humble me like he did with the declined credit card; that He will open my eyes to see when my focus is not on Him and when I’m becoming dependent on other things or other people.

I HAVE to tell you how the story ended with the card that morning.  I went back to Starbucks sat in a comfy oversized chair with my laptop to view my account online.  My balance was OVER the $900.00 limit, approximately $1,400.00 because of some preauthorization’s for hotel charges and airfare for my husband’s business trip.  To my surprise the reward points that had accumulated over the years were 220,000 – I had never really looked at them before OR what I could do with them.  I took the time to figure it out and I was able to convert them into cash and electronically have a deposit into our checking account.  So today, I checked our account and the money was there……just over $2,000.00 can you believe it??  I used that money to pay off the new balance on the card AND had a little left over.  We haven’t needed the card so now were going to cancel it.  I LOVE how God works!!  He’s soooooooo cool!

Hearts of gratitude

I am struggling with how to instill in my children a sense of appreciation, thankfulness and gratitude this Christmas season. Christmas for my family is about celebrating Jesus’ birth. Sure, the presents are exciting and Santa is magical, but really it is about sacrifice, generosity, humbleness, humility, gratitude, love, affection and forgiveness.

How, in our society of material goods, do I make sure these messages are communicated to my children who are 4 and 6 years of age? They are at the perfect age of fantasies, of surprises, of toys, of gifts… As parents, we desire to give to our children, but I fear in that process, we have overshadowed the real meaning of Christmas. AND, at times, I sense my children have developed a feeling of entitlement when it comes to ‘stuff’. YUCK!

You know those toy catalogs that are mailed to your homes? We have received plenty of them, and I’m telling you the sharpie has gotten a work out creating their wish lists! Part of it, I know, is their age. I get that. What kid doesn’t love paging through toy catalogs? The truth is that I am guilty of paging through the adult toy catalogs that come weekly. You know, Best Buy, Target, Macys, Wal-Mart… ads? I admit it. I’m a circular junkie. I haven’t broken out the sharpie, but it is no different. Shoot! I haven’t really looked at this behavior as a negative one, but what has it been teaching my children?

I HOPE, for the most part, I have modeled the above characteristics for my children, but I wonder sometimes what else I can be doing. I want to provide opportunities for them to practice. The question I have is HOW?

Wikipedia defined this, “Gratitude, thankfulness, or appreciation is a positive emotion or attitude in acknowledgment of a benefit that one has received or will receive.”

One of my neighbors has an amazing tradition, and maybe my family can try it this year. Each child receives a gift of money from their grandparents. The gift the children give back to their grandparents is to use that money to bless someone else. It is up to each child how they choose to spend it, but their gift back to their grandparents is to describe what they did with the money and how they blessed another person/family. Isn’t that cool? Instilling a desire to give can only stir up the emotion of gratitude, right? Definitely a start.

I would love to hear from others what traditions your families have, and how you have succeeded in teaching your children this important lesson. I welcome all the wisdom of our friends who have ‘been there’!