Do You Believe in Santa?

Monday night, my family set out to see Santa. I piled Owen and Gracie into our car, and met my husband at the local mall around 5 PM.

I should first tell you about the ride to the mall. My 6 year old, Owen, began to ask questions. “Is Santa real?” Apparently Anna, also a first grader, has told all her friends at school that Santa isn’t real. (Thanks Anna.) Owen then said: there is no such thing as reindeer that can fly, and how could there possibly be a santa at every mall? I could just see his little mind going. He then asked a very sweet question- “Do I have to believe in santa?” Not really knowing how to answer, I threw it back at him and said, “Why do you say that?” He answered, “I don’t want to hurt his feelings.” He then concluded all on his own, that the santa we were going to see was probably a santa helper who communicates back to the real santa everyone’s wish lists. Gracie just sat and listened to this conversation, not really phased by any of it.

When we got to the mall, much to our surprise, there was a very short line! We live in MN, so once inside, my kids threw off their coats and I found myself quickly holding 3 down coats, a purse and camera bag. A mom thing I guess- we can double as a coat tree. As we got closer, we noticed that Santa wasn’t perched in his chair… Yup. He was having dinner. “Be back at 6:00” sign sat on his chair, instead of his friendly face. Some quick decision making, and we decided to wait it out. The “Be back at 6:00” turned into “Be back at 6:20” – I guess he was having dessert. Doug met us in line, and helped out with the coats and helped keep an eye on the kids as they ran in circles.

About half way through the waiting, Gracie began to start whining. I can’t blame her, waiting in line for over an hour is a lot to expect of a 4 year old, even if it is to see Santa. She was begging me to hold her, and when she put her face next to mine, much to my surprise, her face was burning up. Another mom talent- knowing your child has a fever without the use of a thermometer. “My throat hurts, my tummy hurts, my head hurts…” Seriously? Just like that, she started to fade, and fade quickly. We couldn’t exactly leave at that point. Owen was waiting anxiously, and a bit more patiently than the rest of us. I think he wanted to answer some of his “Is Santa real?” questions. We also saw the long line that had formed behind us, and we suddenly felt a greater sense of urgency for Santa to down his dessert and get on with the show. We had visions of Gracie tossing her cookies all over Santa and the line of parents and children behind us raging at the mishap.

Fortunately, that didn’t happen. We made it through the remainder of our wait, and both Owen and Gracie were able to tell Santa what they wanted for Christmas. We made sure Gracie didn’t get too close (she didn’t actually sit on his lap), and we paid our $17 for 2 hokey pictures to capture the moment. After all, it was the real Santa at the Burnsville mall on Monday night!

Yet another Mickschl memory. I sometimes wonder, does every family have these moments? I wouldn’t trade them for anything.

Wishing you and yours a very fun, unexpected, joy-filled Christmas.

You Can't Have it Both Ways

I had a great birthday weekend.  What made it so special was connecting with people I LOVE!  On Saturday my husband treated me and two of my friends to a spa day…..it was just what we needed; ALL of us!  We had facials, massages, relaxed in the hot tub and enjoyed the steam room.  To wrap up our day we ate at a fantastic Mexican restaurant inhaling chips and salsa and fresh made guacamole – YUM, my favorite!!

Of course while we were together we talked NON-STOP, like girls do!  There was one conversation in particular that we had that stuck out to me.  We were reflecting upon some of our past experiences, many of which were new stories – I so enjoy learning new things about my friends!

As we were sharing and laughing about life and some of our experiences one of my friends said this, “I wouldn't choose my difficult and painful experiences, and they were hard to go through but the growth I gained from them changed me into a more compassionate and sensitive person. Those changes wouldn't have happened without the experiences. So you can't have it both ways.”

I really like how she stated that.  So often when I’m connecting with people I hear things like, “I wish that would’ve NEVER happened”, “If I could do life over again, I would change this, that, or the other thing.”  I also know, based on my own past experiences, that when we are hurt, angry, carry resentments, shame and guilt towards ourselves and others we struggle to grow and see what good comes out of our experiences.

There’s the old saying, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”  I agree with that but it’s so vague.  I would like to add some alternative ways to finish that statement, “That which does not kill us CAN……

…..make us more understanding and non-judgmental.”

…..allow us to become angry.”

…..give us opportunities to help others because we can relate.”

…..cause resentment and bitterness towards others.”

…..change us positively.”

…..impact us negatively.”

How do you view your experiences?  Are they opportunities for growth? Or are they set backs?  Would you choose NOT to go through painful and difficult situations? OR Would you go through the same, all-over again because if you hadn’t, who would you be today?  Is there something that you’ve experienced that maybe needs to be looked at differently?

For me, I do need to look at some of my past experiences differently.  I still have some resentments and anger that I need to work through AND I need to forgive myself for some things to be set free from lingering shame and guilt that I’ve been carrying.

I STRIVE to finish the statement above with this approach, “That which does not kill me changes me positively and gives me an opportunity to help others.”

How would YOU finish it?