Daily KIP:  Gifts don't always have to cost money; sometimes the most valuable gift we can give to another person is free. What FREE gifts are you giving away this holiday which may be priceless to someone else?

Daily KIP: Connection isn't JUST about making time for friends and family, it's about CARING for others. Who are you REALLY connecting with? Make the connection.......make the time to truly connect.

You Can't Have it Both Ways

I had a great birthday weekend.  What made it so special was connecting with people I LOVE!  On Saturday my husband treated me and two of my friends to a spa day…..it was just what we needed; ALL of us!  We had facials, massages, relaxed in the hot tub and enjoyed the steam room.  To wrap up our day we ate at a fantastic Mexican restaurant inhaling chips and salsa and fresh made guacamole – YUM, my favorite!!

Of course while we were together we talked NON-STOP, like girls do!  There was one conversation in particular that we had that stuck out to me.  We were reflecting upon some of our past experiences, many of which were new stories – I so enjoy learning new things about my friends!

As we were sharing and laughing about life and some of our experiences one of my friends said this, “I wouldn't choose my difficult and painful experiences, and they were hard to go through but the growth I gained from them changed me into a more compassionate and sensitive person. Those changes wouldn't have happened without the experiences. So you can't have it both ways.”

I really like how she stated that.  So often when I’m connecting with people I hear things like, “I wish that would’ve NEVER happened”, “If I could do life over again, I would change this, that, or the other thing.”  I also know, based on my own past experiences, that when we are hurt, angry, carry resentments, shame and guilt towards ourselves and others we struggle to grow and see what good comes out of our experiences.

There’s the old saying, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”  I agree with that but it’s so vague.  I would like to add some alternative ways to finish that statement, “That which does not kill us CAN……

…..make us more understanding and non-judgmental.”

…..allow us to become angry.”

…..give us opportunities to help others because we can relate.”

…..cause resentment and bitterness towards others.”

…..change us positively.”

…..impact us negatively.”

How do you view your experiences?  Are they opportunities for growth? Or are they set backs?  Would you choose NOT to go through painful and difficult situations? OR Would you go through the same, all-over again because if you hadn’t, who would you be today?  Is there something that you’ve experienced that maybe needs to be looked at differently?

For me, I do need to look at some of my past experiences differently.  I still have some resentments and anger that I need to work through AND I need to forgive myself for some things to be set free from lingering shame and guilt that I’ve been carrying.

I STRIVE to finish the statement above with this approach, “That which does not kill me changes me positively and gives me an opportunity to help others.”

How would YOU finish it?

 

Daily KIP:  Choose your words wisely. We sometimes say things we don't mean and others have a hard time forgetting even if we say we are sorry.

Daily KIP:  Who do you need to connect with today? Not letting other people know what's troubling us can cause the problem to trouble us even more. Sharing what's on our mind with a friend gives that person an opportunity to help us develop a better perspective.

Daily KIP:  Enroll in a free, online birthday/dates to remember reminder program to alert you of your loved ones' special days. Everyone appreciates a friendly greeting on their birthday AND other memorable days!

Daily KIP:  Focus on patience and not "reacting". Sometimes our first instinct is to assume/judge a situation. Today be patient with in ALL your interactions (kids, co-workers, friends, service people, family) this truly is an act of kindness and others around you will appreciate it.

Take it down a notch!!!

I grew up in a rural farming town of about 1200 in central MN. Life was simple then. People took the time to stop each other on the street and visit. Have coffee. Make cookies. Life wasn’t as rushed as it is now. In my opinion, there was a lot more focus on relationship. Relationships with children, spouses, friends, neighbors, teachers, pastors, bankers… Kids weren’t running from this activity to that sporting event- or at least not as often as they are now. Families sat down and had dinner together at night. I suppose because the work day predictably ended at 5pm (at least it did in my parent’s home). There weren’t fast food restaurants to run to, or pizza delivery options to choose from.

I remember my mom getting together on a regular basis with other women and their children for 'coffee'. This 'coffee' group I suspect, was really a group of amazing women getting together to talk about parenting, marriage, life experiences both good and bad. They shared each others joys and sorrows. They were a built in support group for each other and never hesitated to pray for one another. If my memory serves me correct, these were all stay at home moms, who in order to stay connected with each other, made an effort to get together in each other's living rooms and talk. Even if it was about a new recipe they found, or a new quilting pattern they were going to try. In fact, this 'coffee' group continues to this day, in a more limited fashion. They are still getting together throwing bridal showers, baby showers and attending weddings for the children who were carted along to these coffee groups. (We enjoyed it by the way!)

For me, Keeping It Personal is about bringing to my life a deliberate effort to do just that. Keep it Personal. I don’t expect it to mirror my description above, as life is different now. In fact, I am sure it wasn’t as ‘simple’ as my memory would have me believe. But there are changes I can make, which I think will ultimately impact my children, my marriage, my relationship with God, and others. I was talking to Teri earlier tonight, and told her this. I have no real idea what this blog is going to turn into. Seriously, I don’t think I even knew what a blog was a year ago! I feel like we have a blank canvas in front of us. We have given much thought and prayer into KIP, and don’t feel like either of us has a clear picture of what this final work of art will look like. We want to take this opportunity to be real, to share from our own experiences, to learn from others’ experiences, and to inspire people to take it back a notch. Occasionally step out of the high tech, fast paced world we live in, and into the 'living rooms' of our friends both old and new.... and keep it personal. Kind of ironic that we chose a blog to carry out that message, right?

There is a bit of anxiety on my part about putting this blog out there for everyone to see. A vulnerability. I just pray that God-willing, we will encourage each other, and those who choose to follow us to keep it real, by keeping it personal.