Daily KIP: Connection isn't JUST about making time for friends and family, it's about CARING for others. Who are you REALLY connecting with? Make the connection.......make the time to truly connect.

Daily KIP:  UNDERSTANDING..........often we are so quick to judge what's going on with others or why people in our world do what they do. Take the time to ask questions, listen, and connect to get a better understanding. 

“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.” Dale Carnegie

You Can't Have it Both Ways

I had a great birthday weekend.  What made it so special was connecting with people I LOVE!  On Saturday my husband treated me and two of my friends to a spa day…..it was just what we needed; ALL of us!  We had facials, massages, relaxed in the hot tub and enjoyed the steam room.  To wrap up our day we ate at a fantastic Mexican restaurant inhaling chips and salsa and fresh made guacamole – YUM, my favorite!!

Of course while we were together we talked NON-STOP, like girls do!  There was one conversation in particular that we had that stuck out to me.  We were reflecting upon some of our past experiences, many of which were new stories – I so enjoy learning new things about my friends!

As we were sharing and laughing about life and some of our experiences one of my friends said this, “I wouldn't choose my difficult and painful experiences, and they were hard to go through but the growth I gained from them changed me into a more compassionate and sensitive person. Those changes wouldn't have happened without the experiences. So you can't have it both ways.”

I really like how she stated that.  So often when I’m connecting with people I hear things like, “I wish that would’ve NEVER happened”, “If I could do life over again, I would change this, that, or the other thing.”  I also know, based on my own past experiences, that when we are hurt, angry, carry resentments, shame and guilt towards ourselves and others we struggle to grow and see what good comes out of our experiences.

There’s the old saying, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”  I agree with that but it’s so vague.  I would like to add some alternative ways to finish that statement, “That which does not kill us CAN……

…..make us more understanding and non-judgmental.”

…..allow us to become angry.”

…..give us opportunities to help others because we can relate.”

…..cause resentment and bitterness towards others.”

…..change us positively.”

…..impact us negatively.”

How do you view your experiences?  Are they opportunities for growth? Or are they set backs?  Would you choose NOT to go through painful and difficult situations? OR Would you go through the same, all-over again because if you hadn’t, who would you be today?  Is there something that you’ve experienced that maybe needs to be looked at differently?

For me, I do need to look at some of my past experiences differently.  I still have some resentments and anger that I need to work through AND I need to forgive myself for some things to be set free from lingering shame and guilt that I’ve been carrying.

I STRIVE to finish the statement above with this approach, “That which does not kill me changes me positively and gives me an opportunity to help others.”

How would YOU finish it?

 

Daily KIP:  Who do you need to connect with today? Not letting other people know what's troubling us can cause the problem to trouble us even more. Sharing what's on our mind with a friend gives that person an opportunity to help us develop a better perspective.

Daily KIP:  Who's been on your mind? Is there anyone that you care about that lives far away that you rarely connect with? Give them a call TODAY to say "Hi" and tell them that you care about them. They will be surprised and happy to hear your voice. It will brighten their day and yours too!!

Go, move, decide, do SOMETHING!

I often ask myself, “Why is it so difficult for me to___________________?”  Here are just a FEW things that I’ve used to fill in the blank: exercise, have more patience, be a better listener, not judge others, forgive, pray, organize the junk drawer in my kitchen, accomplish the things on my list, simply make a to do list!  I could ramble on for quite some time naming the difficulties I have but the one that has been hitting me like a ton of bricks recently is………give up control.

I’ve been doing A LOT of soul searching, reading books, and praying to find the answer and it FINALLY came to me.  The answer is Fear.  It’s that simple……….It is difficult for me to give up control in EVERY area of my life because I FEAR the unknown.  I’ve been fooling myself for years thinking that I had all the answers and that if I could just maintain control in EVERY situation and relationship it would be best for everyone involved.  Seriously, I thought that…….silly me!!

How was that working for me? NOT VERY WELL!!  I was miserable.  My life was out of control.  The very thing that I thought I was controlling was OUT OF CONTROL!  I crumbled, I was defeated, I couldn’t do it anymore, I hit rock bottom (that experience I will share in another blog).

As I look back to that time just a short six months ago, I am grateful.  I’ve embraced the experiences in my past and have chosen to find the good in the bad.  But, now what?  Changes needed to be made or I would end up right back where I was……miserable. 

I thank God for putting people in my life who speak truth to me and kick me in the butt to tell me what I NEED to hear not what I want to hear.  It wasn’t enough for me to just be grateful, embrace my past, find good from the bad, etc.  I needed to do something about it.  I needed to take action – UGH!!!  Taking action may be one of the most difficult things to do sometimes.  It’s easy to talk about it but to actually do it IS WORK.  What I’m realizing is that if I am NOT taking action I’m either getting “stale” or falling backwards and I do NOT want to go backwards and to me stale stinks!

So, baby steps…………to give up control.  Remember this is just one of my difficulties/challenges/character defects – but you gotta start somewhere, right?  I’m taking baby steps to give up control and trusting God with my life.  He goes before me and paves the way; I want His plan to be my plan.  I want to grow NOT be stale, this is the desire of my heart.  The daily challenge for me is I want to take my control back, out of fear!  My simple prayer is this, God your will be done, not mine.  I’m saying this little prayer no less than 100 times some days and He is piece by piece showing me his plan and I LIKE IT!!!

I truly believe that one piece to the puzzle is Keeping it Personal.  God woke me one morning at 3:00 a.m. with the Who are we….on my heart.  I couldn’t go back to sleep until I had it all typed up and saved on my computer.  A month later were taking action.  We’ve decided to go, move forward, and like my husband often says to me, “do something!” As we start this journey down a path that is unknown to us we are trusting God to pave the way.  With keeping it personal we want to be a blessing and make a difference in the lives of others by sharing our experiences – which in turn blesses us.  That’s what we know right now. 

Leah and I want to encourage you connect with us with your comments, feedback, and suggestions; we WANT to hear from YOU!!  We are going to do our best to provide you with a daily KIP; this is a suggestion/idea on ways to keep it personal in your interactions with others, via our blog, Facebook, and Twitter.

So much to be thankful for………Happy Thanksgiving!